Monday, January 12, 2009

in paradise...

i love being able to read my old journals and escape back into the emotions that fill the pages. this one is from when i was on my honeymoon.
i sit and look out at the blue ocean from our bungalow. as the sun sets, it casts a rainbow on the untouched trees. there is a mystery about the mountain. no one has climbed it. there is jungle surrounding it. it makes me think of your power. your hidden blessings. your glory ungiven. things we don't even know about. the trees so green. your power so vast. an older couple are our new neighbors. they were playing out in the water. i saw your beauty in their joy. your sovereignty. your life in our life. every piece of it. you live through it all with us. the hard pain. the depths that our souls fall. the depths that they sink until they cling enough to you to soar above the ashes. you live in the heights. and the depths. as we laugh and feel joy. you are that joy. and you want every piece. you are here with me. you answer my pleas. not because i deserve it. not because i wished hard enough. but because i am yours. because you seek my heart. today as i sit in silence in paradise, i feel you. i feel your love. your power. your mercy. i know not to fall into expectancies, but thank you for the joy in my husband's eyes tonight. i saw a glimpse of what is to come. a small glimpse of hope. this moment of waiting on you. i ask for more of these moments. for the intimacy you speak of in song of songs. for the gift of joy in marriage. for the heights and the depths. i pray that we seek you in both. but that we seek you first, each other second, and ourselves finally last. may we see your beauty and love for us in new ways as we learn to ministry to each other. praise your sweet name, jesus.