entirely.

jesus prayed for us to be entirely Yours (john 17). that is my prayer. to be entirely in You. i can't imagine how differently my life would look. i feel like i live a double life at times. trying to straddle the world and godliness. sin and redemption. happiness and joy. the difference is immense. but living it is the real battle. i guess it's really only because of the ache for real life in the midst of worldly life. real life. godliness over the world. redemption over sin. and joy over just being happy. even the mere taste of these things is so sweet. i can't help but long for more. i guess its the choices that trip me up. there are so many choices and only one that will satisfy. its such a tricky thing. an evil game. the choices seem to conform to our reckless, empty desires. the right now fix, instead of the soul curing fix. the almost full instead of the entirely whole. the happy for now instead of the joy for ever. how often i say yes to the world and no to godliness. even though that sweet taste of it lingers, somehow i still say no to it. seeking the band-aid instead of the cure. but jesus came so we could be entirely in You. he died so we could be cured. so that we could have joy instead of happiness, redemption instead of sin. and so that instead of being of the world, we could claim godliness. to claim it. to wear it. to choose it. to live it. to be it. for us to be in you. entirely.

we cheapen love

we cheapen love. we reduce it to a pair of shoes. or our favorite pair of jeans. we lessen it so much that to speak of god's love with the same word is like speaking a different language. we use love as a weapon. we use it for manipulation and bribery. we wear it on our earthly bodies as suits to hurl our emotions on each other. we mock love as we lie to our friends...our brothers and sisters. we minimize love into the shape of a heart that tastes of chalk on a holiday in february. love. love. love. we don't know what love is. yet we take it every morning like our morning cup of coffee from our creator. we take it. and take it. and take it. even after all this He gives and gives and gives. without a doubt in His mind that we are worthy enough to sacrifice His own son. we know nothing of love on this earth. we know nothing of anything yet we are made whole if we would just let Him love us.

the land of milk and honey

you ask us to be moses.  to go and claim the land of milk and honey to people in misery.  like these kids that are broken.  they are in misery, although most don't even know it.  we are called to lead them out of their life.  to lead them to the land of milk and honey.  and we react just as moses did.  'they won't believe me (exodus 3:13)'.  these kids know your name.  they hear it often.  but to them it's a class in school.  a life they are shoved into.  something they are made to believe.  that you are a holy deity, but there is a part missing.  that you want life WITH them.  they don't know about the land of milk and honey.  allow me to bring the true I AM to them.  your love.  your desire to have life with them.  to see you as father.  friend.  lover of their broken souls.  your desire to lead them out of their life of misery and into the land of milk and honey.  they need to see that burning bush.  that miracle.  i guess i need to see it too. to cast out doubt, fear and disbelief.  instead i make my life about ridiculous things.  what and who i should be.  i so often don't look for the land of milk and honey out in the distance.  i often set out for somewhere far less fruitful.  far less than what you want for me.  let me persue the land of milk and honey you have waiting for me.

let me give it all

it's crazy that you don't write out your words or your truths in the stars. or in fireworks so that we won't miss them.  the beauty of you is that you are in the everyday.  the every moment...if we would just let you.  the mystery is that you want that.  you want it all.  every moment, every pain, every laugh.  you want even the ugly parts of me.  the parts i don't even want.  you somehow turn those parts into beauty.  you are glory, so everything you touch becomes that glory.  let me give it all.

enough

I am reminded of your sweet love for me for some reason. And how it sneaks in. Into my hard heart. My earthly mind. The air smells so pure as spring is easing in out my window. Sometimes it’s hard to remember you are out there in that noisy world. In the everyday. I see you and seek you instantly in my quiet room…when the air is just right. My bed is soft and there is no one around. When everything is so perfect, it’s so easy. How quickly I forgot about that one in Africa, although I said I would never forget him. He is definitely not in his own bed where everything is perfect. Yet his faith was so strong. So hopeful. So joyful. So in love with you. So where is the disconnect? Maybe you are all he has and I am surrounded by all the things the world tells me I can’t live without. Maybe all the things we have and all the times we can’t get enough are really too much. Maybe our love for things, possessions, and success clouds our view of real unconditional love. Love from a real Father. A real Father that never leaves, always loves and longs to be with us. Not the father that we are stuck with. Or in a life we can’t seem to get out of. He is that perfect love among the too much and the not enough. So how do I get out of the me and just be with you?